It's begining to look

A lot like Christmas.

In these last moments

I plead to the maker for soverognty
for I have not been the best at who I am or what i've done
but I've sure as hell have been better than you

surely that's all that matters.

So
with this last breath I
spit in the faces of those who stare down;
cold eyes, hateful, and righteous--
you shouldn't forget that
I am
without a doubt
better than you.

That is all that matters.

Pop

Six

Squish

Uh uh

Cicero

Lipschitz

I'm one of those

people who are overly self-aware.  I don't think it can be called self actualization, such as the last step in Maslow's hierarchy of needs.. but it really feels to be that way.

But, staying true to his hierarchy, I can't possibly be self actualized because I can't get past the third or fourth need on his list. Although, I must take into account it's arguments that people can suffer more than one need at a time, rather than one over the other. Oh psychology.. how you confound me so.

After much silent deliberation with my inner argumentative self against my outer argumentative self.. I've come to realize something..

I am one of those seven year olds who absolutely despise change.  I just want the world to be something I've known and will alwys know.

I despise change, but I so desperately crave it.

I have some sort of mental claustrophobia, where I don't want to be trapped within my familiarities, but I don't like the uncertainties of the naked world...