I think that

I only love you because I have to.
Nature depicts my feelings.. I came from you, so I will always care
But given the chance,
If I could,
I would run away from you and your problems.
I can't fix you.
I won't fix you.
And I'm sorry you hurt, but you're hurting us, too.
Nature Forces me to love you,
But I don't have you like you, Mom.  I've never liked you, Mom.

I want you better.
Someday..
Someday you'll find someone who will save you but right this very moment
I can't do it
I can't deal with it
None of us can...

Fix yourself
run away and fix yourself
before you hurt the rest of us
to the point where we cannot
fix ourselves any longer.

Today is

a day of unremarkable practicality.

I find myself wondering if all days can be so similar.
Wasted.
Monotonous.
Same.

I've been told this world exsists as you make it
but I think that statement is entirely backwards.

This world shapes you and what you think you are.
We're powerless beings.

how sad.

It was

absolutely perfect.


















11/14/09

I realized that

I don't quite know
what my life consists of
when school isn't
open.
Which leaves me to wonder
what my life will entail
when school is
over.
complete..

work.
I know.
But school is something
that gives need and hope
to a better means of end..
work
is
monotonous. and
only ends
with
greed and the need
for more
green
paper.

So I wonder, on days like these
when class
isn't in session..

what will my life be
without the consistency and comfort of
learning

Homework

is something
that makes me feel
so small.
it's thinking
that I don't want to do
but I do it
for the sake of a letter
and the approval of a woman
I don't even
know.

NaNoWriMo is

consuming my life

and it's only

day three.

When I

sat in my computer chair just the other day
I watched my clock
as the time fell on midnight.

an hour later
it fell to midnight once more
(surely you knew that it was time to move the clocks)
but it suprised me..  it was midnight for two hours.

it seems to me that those are grounds for some strange revolutionary piece about horrors and the like pertaining to the time and how it repeated itself that one time...

Halloween

is over, but I don't mind..
it's my favorite holiday, but only because I can see the world enjoy what I enjoy every waking moment..

Strange clothing and merriment.
No candy though... shame.