I'm capable of loving someone.
Certainly, I love. I feel it. Strongly.
But I won't ever tell someone.
I won't ever let someone know.
Because on the off chance this stranger feels the same,
I couldn't bear hearing how he felt, which ever way that tide rushed in.
I can barely tell my family how I feel..
Or take hearing how they feel about me
The relief is so great that a tremendous rush of pain surges through me
and I cry so much
Medicine should help
but I see the hollow within my mother is trapped..
I want to be free
I want to live.
Another year
I cry
with this hidden inside my tedious breast..
holding my breath to stop the tears
I want to be happy, but it's commercial holidays like this that surface the pain.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
I don't think that
Posted by The frumious Bandersnatch at 12:22 AM
Labels: Jabberwocky, Valentine
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3 comments:
My friend: I have read your posts, and regarding those of February 9th and 13th, I wish to comment. I encourage you to keep trying; trying to share, to be happy, and to do what you wish to do. Perhaps the struggle is in living, loving and in just being you… yes? Competent wise counselors are hard to come by, but they may be a help in your journey. As you noted, medications alone are only a mask for symptoms, or an alleviation of reality; they are not a perfect answer. Yet, the relief achieved by medicine could be a step in the direction you wish to go… perhaps? Your friends may help you to some degree. Anyone who loves you and allows you to be yourself may be a blessing to you along your way. Reach out and share with the people in your life who care. Your own blog posts, I think, allow you to meaningfully reveal and express the things that you keep inside (hence, I try to encourage you to write) – yes, even the hidden things that you write and never publish are likely a help, by revealing what is within you, I believe. My friend: persevere, and be well.
i get enough help.. i don't need advice. when i write the feeling leaves and its over.. i don't want medicine cuz i don't want to rely on things like that for my well being. i don't need the world to save me because that'd be too easy. i exist to prove to me that someone can live for themselves and figure out life in their own unorthodox ways.
You wrote "i exist to prove to me that someone can live for themselves and figure out life in their own unorthodox ways." I like your clear statement of your own purpose. In addition, you noted "when i write the feeling leaves and its over." I believe you are gifted in your written expression, as I find your words convey powerful feelings: some of self-doubt, some of anguish. I encourage you to carry on with your writings, my friend.
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